Category: humour

humour

The Day We Discovered …

MullinPonder

… Our Great Multi-lingual Abilities.

So, once Up On a Time – like – way back in Winterpast Day of January 29th, 2019 – the following is a recorded account of that morning.

Time 8.50.am

Got up around 7.40.am.

Here is how that time period of one hour and ten minutes was spent – gone forever.

  • Had water and meds (don’t ask – it should be self evident).
  • Opened door for cats – didn’t close it, so minus-whatever weather plundered into home in a rather bold manner. (The nerve😳🙄)
  • Tommy cat decided he would venture out into the frozen tundra.
  • Minty cat, older and wiser did not.
  • Made coffee. Starbucks Keurig pod – otherwise known as Good Tasting Coffee Right Now.
  • Let Tommy cat back into house (big baby)(it’s a balmy -19c … maybe more with windchill)(still a baby)
  • Phone pinged – who could this be?🤔
  • Messenger: yeah! it’s my friend Wendy enquiring about my exciting life.

So we exchanged some amazing details.

e.g.(for example):

The Latin phrase “compus mentis” was used – I surprised myself! It means “having full control of one’s mind”, which we decided was not even a thing.

To our surprise the rest of our message that morning revealed we were in fact, multi-lingual.

Here are the facts of proof.

We said:

  • How are you this morning? English
  • I am not fully compus mentis. Latin
  • Och. Scottish
  • Ciao bellisimo. Italian … which meant I called my beautiful friend a dude. Which she is not. In fact she’s very content being a female. (Don’t get me started on genders I beg you. It won’t be pretty.)
  • Je nais se pas. French for I don’t know. (Like Schultz of Hogan’s Heroes, famous because he knew NUSSINK!)
  • Caio, caio, caio, caio. (Practicing correct spelling of “see ya” in Italian.
  • Bella. More Italian.

So coffee was finished. Enlightening conversation was finally finito (- gasp – more Italian😳).

It was now 8.50.am.

From our conversation, Wendy and I came to the conclusion that we are indeed multi-lingual – five! – count them – five languages! – making it abundantly clear that at least one of us practices inclusivity – which qualifies us – nae! (more Scottish) – again nae! Not only qualifies but surely morally obligates one of us to run for the office of Prime Minister of Canada in our next election? (🤔… a worthy MullinPonder thought 🤔)(After a bit of a MullinPonder, it’ll have to be you Wendy – I can’t see my way clear to resigning my position as Head Honcho of our ever-thriving business of MullinPonder-ing 🤔).

Here endeth the lesson on:

Discovery of Multi-lingualism.

Or …

How to Faff Away the Hours in a day – which by the way, we shall never get back😒.

Christianity, Depression, God, God's Goodness, humour, Life and death, The Black Dogs, The Logos

The Day of A Small Full-of-Meaning Sign

MullinPonder

And they were all of one accord, all who dwelt Up On the Land of MullinPonder, as they raised their huge fists to The Skies and shouted mightily to No One in Particular,

“Depression really really, really SUCKS”.

So ~ after a certain number of Blackest of Ebony Black Dog Days, the MullinPonderites, who were searching with all their hearts, with all their minds, and all their souls, became filled with no small amount of amazement and thankfulness; because …..🤔…

(Listen up here … coz this new paragraph is a MullinPonder ‘selah’.  A word found many times between verses in the Book of Psalms. It evidently means …… wait for it …. bit more …. a “pause”!  I know. I also feel quite knowledgeable at this moment) But, we digress …

So.  Selah.

In the Meantime, (and recently time had been particularly mean to those folks of M’nPonder land), No One in Particular had been, and always was and is, continually watching over the MullinPonderites ~ just as a shepherd keeps a watch upon all of his sheep. He knew this little flock could greatly use some small sign to assure their hearts that there was indeed some purpose and meaning to This Life of Pointless Suffering, where all memories of hope and joy no longer seem to exist. His heart spilled to overflowing with an aching love for all humankind, whom He had suffered and died for way back around the year of 0033 A.D. The MullinPonderites loved their Saviour Shepherd with true hearts, and desired to serve Him in His Kingdom Like No Other Kingdom, whilst they were alive on Planet Earth. He was The One True God after-all. (Cuh!) He was The Logos. The Great I AM.

So without further ado, Great God of Wonders Who Does Not EVER Change ~ unlike those poor folks of the MullinPonderite Clan, whose constant winds of changing emotions sorely tried them ~ He, the Alpha and the Omega, (if you don’t know the meaning of Alpha and Omega? ~ well shame on you, and look it up. Or Google it)(honestly!) …… as we were saying, the Alpha and Omega straightway gave the M’nPonder Clan Thee Sign, and said, “Behold ~ look and see ~ this is your own Sign of Hope. Remember it for evermore, just as Mr. & Mrs. Noah + their descendants were instructed way, way back in The Days of Yore, (like ….hmmm…🤔…Genesis?); when they witnessed the great colourful bow in the sky. It was always to be seen by the Noah Clan as a sign of God’s Promises. A sign of Hope. A sign of Life. A sign of colourful Light, encompassing all that is Love.”

So it was, that just like back in the days after The Great Flood, God gifted those poor old MullinPonderers a sign; a small, full-of-meaning scene, where death has no power because of the all-encompassing Light of the Love of God.

In case you’ve forgotten what the wee sign was, here’s another picture of it.

On that Day the people of MullinPonder said a couple of hallelujahs ~ with no selahs.

humour

It’s Exhausting

MullinPonder

57498119

Mullin Ponder had no idea what they were in for. Not a clue.

When we* entered into the wonderful creative business world of mull and pondering, we were not aware of the amount of energy that it takes to run this business.

To be perfectly honest, it’s….well…..it’s exhausting.

So exhausting that we seem to only have the energy to blog about it, oh let’s say, once a year? (that is a rhetorical question mark BTW) (and please don’t ask us to explain BTW…seriously?…no, I mean- SERIOUSLY)

However, we are aware that, with no small amount of humbleness, our gift in the art of mull and pondering supersedes that of any other Wanna Bees in this creative field.  And because we are still telling the whole truth and nothing but, we knew it would have been very selfish, in fact almost sin-like, not to share this talent with the rest of The Universe. In actual fact, not spreading our kind of wisdom far and wide would border on the sociopathic tendencies. (Very scary)

Without further ado, we will lay down some facts about M&P-ing for our faithful follower(s).  Before committing to this art form please be aware of the following

  • The art of Mull and Pondering is not for woosies. Again we declare –
  • NOT for woosies
  • It is totally a voluntary thingy, so –
  • No pay, salary etc.
  • No vacations
  • It’s 365 days a year. Or – worse – 366 days every leap year
  • 2016 was a leap year.

78edbf8f0544b40acaf5e7ea01c0ae942c402ff32c0c561ec283c67ae536a106

I* rest my case.

(*just a reminder that “I” and “we” mean the same thing in the land of Mullin Ponder

Please note our next blog is going to be amazing and full of The Awestruck Gazer’s photographs….if we can figure out how to upload pics…..aaarrggh.  (WordPress, why is it so difficult to do stuff on this site? like adding a photie to the blog??   Aaargh again.  Or maybe it’s because we are still in a state of exhausted brain syndrome – which will now and forever more be referred to as EBS – because we have a deep desire to be politically correct. And ALL Political Correctness’s are INITIALIZED).  Here endeth the lesson.

 

 

humour

Excuses, Excuses….

MullinPonder

Och.

Poor wee blog.

Left all alone for so long.

Reminds me of that famous poem – penned so many lifetimes ago.

(WARNING and apologies. The * word offends today, but in its defense I’m fairly certain it was invented as a slang word for all the lazy British people who found the word ‘cigarette’  way to cumbersome and  long to say.)

“Oh little *fag-end small and round,

Lying there upon the ground,

whose great mouth you once adorned,

but now you look so lost and forlorn.

Oh little *fag-end do not fret,

There is still a draw left in you yet.

So little blog do not fret

You have not been forgotten yet.

Just kind of put to the side – for a wee while – but your Mommy will be back really soon. See, the thing is – it’s Summer where you live, and she is super-duper occupied with the Business of Mulling and Pondering.  So when she returns there will be oh so much to blog about.  Believe me little blog – you will be one happy camper!

The other very legitimate reason you have been a bit neglected is because of that magnet on the fridge. Remember? The one that states quite clearly –

“God made rainy days so that gardeners will get the housework done and write a blog or two”.

And this has been the driest Summer since the offspring were in diapers.  Which was 20-30 years ago.  It’s true. Honest.  Re the lack of rain and offspring diaper wearing days.

So you know who is in charge of the weather.  I have to say though I’m a little hesitant about playing the blame game in this instance….because….because…..well YOU KNOW WHO controls the weather!  So we shall not be tangoing with this subject anymore.

In the meantime here are a few photies of Summertime when the livin’ is easy. The fish are also jumping and the cotton is oh so high.

No worries.

We shall return.

In the meantime I hope our Faithful Few Follower(s) are having a great summer.

Family, God's Goodness, humour, May Snow, Mother's Day, Tree Blossoms

The Whole Truth and Nothing But….

MullinPonder

Pear Tree Blossom 2

To be quite honest or Frank* (I’ve decided to be honest because so far we have no idea who this Frank is).  What was I saying? O right. The following is a list of Whole Truths –

  • There is a change a-coming over here in Mullin Ponder land. Exciting stuff so get ready. Time. to. re-lax. So – go get that cup of coffee, tea, glass of wine, barrel of beer, chocolates – WHATEVER.  Put your feet up and…. bre-e-eathe……om-mm.  Now you’re ready.  (Or maybe you’re away for a nap)
  • We are busy designing a new look for our blog site!  I know. It’s a lot to take in. Like the great Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream”….. Actually the whole truth is this – I have some vague ideas for a new design. Okay, so there is no similarity whatsoever between my mull and ponder musings and the Reverent King’s famous speeches.  We are sticking to truth, because the title of this weeks blog says we have to. Anyways, we have been mulling over this idea for quite a while now and felt confirmed when –
  • We received an email a few months ago which basically said “Your blog site looks really crap, but if you contact me I will design one that will empty your pockets of mucho dinero”.  As a result, there are two reasons why we are changing the design. One, I haven’t been to Mexico recently so I have no dinero. Two, because I can. We were a Bit Miffed* and not Quite Chuffed* upon receiving this cheeky blighter’s email, but truth be told, whoever you are thank you for that extra push to get this makeover done!  I have to confess that I’m a wee bit emotionally attached to the present design because there is a most interesting history behind it.  A whole blog could be written about it.  But, I can’t be bothered.

In other news……

  •  My youngest son (Bonus Child from God Almighty) was reading last week’s blog and asked “Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?” To which I replied “……because…….we are many at Mullin Ponder and yes, they do all reside within my brain”.  Honestly. You’d think he’d know his mother by now.  He’s been with us for over twenty years now – goodness-sakes.  Cuh!

Speaking of Mother’s Day – ! 

  •  Sunday was our day.  I cannot thank ourselves enough.

I received  a goodly amount of royal treatment including a delicious supper at Blair & Kristin’s. Here are the prezzies I got from The Most Awesome Family in the Whole Wide World.

Flowers that match my house - of course. Kristin chose them
Flowers that match my house – of course. Kristin chose them
Magazine to encourage the sin of coveting
Magazine to encourage the sin of coveting
This wrapper came with chocolate. Consumed in one sitting
This wrapper came with chocolate. Consumed in one sitting
It's a froggy cream jug! And a Thank You card from my daughter Sharon. A tear jerking moment.
It’s a froggy cream jug! and a lovely thank you card from daughter Sharon – the kind of card which comes in quite handy on those days when brain is on repeat of “I am such a bad mother”

Mother's day coupon

  • If I hadn’t posted so many fun things on Facebook last week this blog would be have been much longer.  For instance I could have included this –

Hope

  • “And on the ninth day, she spoke and said…please grant the people of the Great White North a sign to give them hope that the small green shoots will soon appear and bring forth the bountiful blessings of buds, blossoms, blooms and birds all over thy land”

and this –

  •  “And lo! A loud cry was heard throughout the Land of the Great White North from all the people who inhabited that great land. And their cry was this: O Great and Mighty Creator of all – we ask you to send us the Sign of Hope that will bring us assurance to know that indeed the Winter has passed and that the vines will soon bloom and bring forth their fragrance.  And the Lord listened to the cry of these noble folks of The Great White North, for their endurance had been sorely tried over many moons with the temperature well below zero. Straightway The Sign of Hope was granted and all the people of the Great White North witnessed the Magnificent Movement of the Street Cleaners.                                                                                               

All Hail the Street Cleaners

And much rejoicing was heard throughout the land and the people declared , “this                 assuredly is Our Sign of Hope that indeed our Winter has passed and the time of singing has come!”  The people were of one accord as they sang praises to the Good and Great Creator of All.      

 

 and finally! -this-

  • SHE SPOKE!  Let it be Spring…

tulips

      AND THUS IT WAS SO!

  • But, alas…. The Inevitable May Snow Fall.
The inevitable May snow fall. Ugh....
The inevitable May snow fall. Ugh….

And Lo! Another greater cry was heard throughout the land. The people came together as one and shouted “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING…….

also this –

  • The only sensible way to spend a May Snow Day – as suggested by my lovely DIL*,  Kristin:-

“It is a day for a Coming Together of the Minds over Coffee and Mr. Selfridge. So – get the Starbucks a-brewing at Mullin Ponder Headquarters. Yes, I’ll bring the goodies – we know there are strict no baking and no grocery shopping policies…over yonder at Mullin Ponder.”                 

  •  I could also have posted this picture just to assure you that the above occasion did  take place.
The only sensible way to spend a snowy May day.
The only sensible way to spend a snowy May day

I could also have blogged about it being my oldest son, Blair’s 34th (!!!) birthday on that very same Snow Day, the 6th May, 2015, along with this picture –

Happy 34th Birthday Blair
Happy 34th Birthday Blair

But – too late – it’s rather poor taste to post the same thing on two sites. (Note to self: either limit Facebook posts, or blog same rubbish on Mullin Ponder in a cleverly re-written fashion so that our Faithful Few Blog Follower(s) (FFBs) will not find themselves in a pondering state of “..Hmm…pretty sure I’ve read this crap before……yawn …”

One final very important truth to tell.  I was worried that our already blossoming pear tree may have become quite sad due to last week’s Merry Month of May Snowfall but I am over the moon with rejoicing because here it is in all its awesome blossoming beauty! The bees are buzzing joyfully within and around the blossoms doing their thing. Before I get a ton of comments (so funny am I) – We do know that the correct term for bees doing their thing is pollinating.

Many blossoms normally produce many pears
Many blossoms normally produce many pears

Bountiful Blessings of Blossoming Blossoms from our Heavenly Father. (wow..what a load of ‘beezz’) (Sorry, couldn’t resist…heh,heh..)

Feeling grateful for not being in a state of “O Woe Is Me” and that I didn’t have to change the name of Mullin Ponder to Mopen Pout.

S’all true.  Nothing but.

Any words or sayings that has *, or **, or **** means ‘currently be researched by Worldwide Global Research Team of Mullin Ponder.’

humour, Ramblings

Why We Are Rather Chuffed

MullinPonder

Dear Mullin Ponder Reader(s)

And why are we in this state of chufftiness?

Without any Further Ado or Ands, Ifs and Butts..(oops, wrong spelling) I meant Buts, not Butts…….read on.

The Head Honcho was thrilled at the amazing number of comments and likes that were left on last week’s blog.  She immediately sent out an edict to all the employees of Mullin Ponder stating that no small amount of effort would be made to ensure that a blog would be published more than once a year. She reminded us that in this Business of Blogging (BoB) it’s all about satisfying the Faithful Follower(s) wants and needs.  We agreed.  After all, this kind of wisdom is the reason Head Honcho gets paid the big bucks.

(I’m a bit worried about how easy it is getting to lie on here)

Here is the excitement that has happened since last week.  All true. Scout’s Honour.

DS* came home from a ten day business trip to the Far East (of Canada, you fools).  His return home was the cause of much rejoicing for more than one reason.  A sense of relief and teeny tiny joy was experienced upon discovering that only six of the ten dress shirts he packed had been worn.   What is more amazing is that they are already laundered and back in a very full closet.  I know!  Shock and Awe. (He read last week’s blog and said “I don’t have THIRTY FOUR  shirts”.  I said “Oh yes you do – go and count them”.  Which he did.  I was right….naturally)

Another reason for the rejoicing is that I have not eaten a left-over pancake with peanut butter and jam for supper since his return.  To be perfectly frank** I’m a bit iffy on adding this to the rejoicing list.  It’s a good quick nutritious delicious meal. You got your protein in the peanut butter, your dairy in the pancake, and your fruits and veggies in the jam.  Need I say more.

DS has also been shopping.  Our home supplies of TP, red meat, bananas and corn have been replenished.  Here is a picture as proof.

023

I won’t bore you with more pics of TP, bulk meat etc.  Been there. Done that.

Whilst tossing ten days worth of DS’s Unmentionable’s into the laundry machine lo and behold I came upon this cute little blue velvet box.  You can imagine the excitement!  Or maybe you don’t give a toss. (oh clever, see what I did there? tossing…toss..)

077

Alas!  Upon opening it……..

076

…..I took a wild guess and decided it must have been given to DS at The Company’s sales meeting.  And I couldn’t seem to make it work as a ring anyway, which I really didn’t mind.

His company finally realized that he has been in their employ for nigh on forty-four years. (Count them. FORTY-FOUR!!) Bless him.

That is the reason they gave him this.

024

The gifted Pen Set was cause for Great Rejoicing throughout Mullin Ponder land. The Company really outdid themselves this time.  For his 40th anniversary DS received an email which said thank you.  Very heartfelt I’m sure.  I, for one got quite emotional.

(hmm….there will be much mull and pondering over ” what will DS receive for his 50th Anniversary?”  The mind boggles***.)

In the meantime I will take a break from singing “Sixteen Tons” when he comes home from work everyday.  The wee soul.

Speaking of tons (…again!? How clever – sometimes I even amaze myself) I have ‘tons’ more exciting ramblings to share, but will save them for the next blog. It’s going to be SUCH Fun!

*DS = Dear Spouse

**Frank.  Who is this Frank?

***note to self.  Contact Mullin Ponder Global Research Team re ‘The mind boggles’.

A Blogger’s work is never done.  Sigh. Not that I mind.  Far be that thought.

humour

Sometimes It Is The Little Things

MullinPonder

Dear Red Sky Delights blog follower (and I believe that follower is myself).

The little story I am going to post is from my journal back in the days of yore  during 2011. Why? I hear you (me) say? Because. Because I can. Mwahahaha (evil Dr. Evil laugh).

So – enjoy – dearest reader. Oh thank you, I will. Okay, this makes it official.  My wise old Grandpa used to say it was okay to talk to yourself, but when you answered yourself?  Not so much; which he used to do all the time.   Anyway, enough with the RAT (Random Abstract Thinking).  By the way, my friend Anja and I took the fine art form of RAT to new heights, during my WMDWC (Wonderful Mother’s Day Weekend-in-Calgary). (And don’t even try pronouncing that one. It doesnae work, unless you can speak Klingon)

Sometimes It is The Little Things (from back in a day of yore, during 2011)

Yesterday morning I had to go to the store first thing, as I had discovered the night before to my utter horror and dismay that we had run out of coffee of the leaded variety. Yes, we had the unleaded kind, but that is kept in our house for mainly decorative purposes, or for the poor wee souls who have gone on the wagon as far as the drug caffeine is concerned. Or, as I like to call it, One of Nature’s Last Legal Stimulants. (ONLLS – another Klingon word).

Upon returning home from my visit to Sobeys,  arms laden with not only coffee, but with $100’s worth of other grocery necessities such as apple cinnamon coffee cake etc., etc., –  to my extreme delight and surprise I was greeted by sounds which sent a little spark of joy deep down into my un-caffeinated heart.  I am almost 100% sure that the house contained no mortal humans when I left it. But there it was.  A small child’s voice belonging to my beautiful grand daughter, Savannah.  The chatter of two girls voices belonging to my beautiful daughter Sharon, engaged in chit-chat (probably of the RAT variety) with my other beautiful daughter (in-law), Kristin. And the excited scampering and panting sounds of a little doggy named Sushi, who I have to admit showed the most excitement at my arrival,  followed by a very close second in Savannah, who was all smiles and giggles and  as per usual attired in one of her many perfectly matching mini-diva ensembles. (I think we may be creating a monster here, but shhhhh….and anyway this may be material for another of my widely read blogs….and also…this is another example of RAT..which could also be the most fantastically rambling blog  ever).

This was followed by the discovery of a deliciously wafting aroma, which lo and behold led to freshly baked banana and chocolate chip muffins. Dark chocolate of course, because “it is good for you”,  as described by Kristin,  baker of the good-goodies, in her continuing quest to eat more healthy. Bless her.

Unexpected company of some of my most favourite people and doggies, plus fresh bakes and FINALLY my Starbucks coffee! Aahh!

Sometimes it is in the little unexpected moments that God makes me aware of my blessings.

 

(Note: this blog is in no way intended to promote Starbucks or Sobeys – because they would have to pay me a large sum of money if the case were so. Seen as how my blog’s are read world wide (tongue is firmly implanted in cheek). )

Mwahahaha